Island

Shipwrecked upon my shore
I got stars swirling around my head
I see a big tree
Staring straight at me
No sun just moonlight
Dense feeling of solitude
I am the only survivor
The water will wash my sins
The sand will bury me in regret
Who needs the world when I'm here
Alone and retreating to the earth

Logo

I gotta be like Nike and JUST DO IT

Fuck the Haters ....fuck the voices inside telling me I'm no good. Fuck them all

Migraines

I would never wish upon my enemies the pain and suffering of the migraine that I experienced today. The pain was intense, so intense that it made me vomit and cry. The only thoughts I had were that my head was going to explode! I wanted to take a hammer and smash my head in, ending it all. This shit was fucking intense...Fucking aye it was intense. I shouldn't really complain because there are plenty of people that suffer from worse pain than me, and believe me I sympathize with them, but this was the worst pain that I have ever experienced. What kills me the most was that I broke a promise I made to my friend Chris. I was suppose to drive to LAX and pick up his boo from the airport. I was really looking forward to this adventure...I was going to drive somewhere far again...slowly and surely Im starting to expand...but this fucking migraine killed this adventure. Im so sorry Chris if you are reading this...I really wanted to meet arv and see you guys meet for the first time. Why does this shit always happen to me?

Also, apparently the medicine that my doctor prescribed me,  Sumatriptan could have given me Serotonin Syndrome or Serotonin Toxcity if I would have taken it. Why you ask, because it take the antidepressant Paxotine, and Sumatriptan I guess releases more serotonin into my brain, and Paxotine already does that so it would have been way too much serotonin and it could have made me really really sick, or it could have been fatal. So I contacted my doctor and luckily he talked to the pharmacist and they agreed I shouldn't take it.So he prescribed me something else that would help, but that wont release serotonin. So I hope it works, because I never and I mean NEVER want to feel that much pain again. I can handle emotional pain, but physical pain, man Im a giant fat pussy....lol

Big Dipper

I'm feeling a little off again. I was what I deemed happy or content for a while. I was angry and frustrated next, and now I'm feeling low. It's that Damn man period that I get. This time thought ...Idk...I feels different...the rage is intense...the happiness is blissful...and the sadness is ...darker. Darker thoughts are running rampant in my head. Old wounds are being opened. Old demons long thought dead have arisen again.

I know and hope that its only momentarily like this and that in time I will get over it. Usually after sadness is this intense urge to procreate with anything. I could possibility fuck a stranger...lol...probably not...but I am horny...

Anyways...this is the end for another day. I need to take it day by day. Hour by hour and second by second. Rome wasn't built in a day...and my mental health won't be a piece of cake...this Shit will take years to heal...

Looking for something

I never claimed to be an expert in love
I never claimed to even want to love
I just want to be connected to someone
I just don't want to be alone
Times are tough
My mind has had enough
The edge seems better each day

Looking for something

I never claimed to be an expert in love
I never claimed to even want to love
I just want to be connected to someone
I just don't want to be alone
Times are tough
My mind has had enough
The edge seems better each day

Dreaming Of You

You were more than just a dream
You were the reason to start to believe in love
Now you're just that fading memory I keep holding on to
That fever that just won't break
The villain in my nightmare
Chasing you was fun
But now I've been overrun
With memories of you
The only think I want to do
Is to forget you
You were more than just a dream
My romantic  fantasy
But it was not to come to that
I should relax and think back
But I know ill go back to that rage
The cage that kept me from trying to keep you
The nightmare that spooks me into a fright
All the talks about spooning at night
The long kisses that swoons me alright
I got to keep my mind tight
From letting loose these devourers of light
I got to keep you out of my dreams
And just let you fade again