Letting go

You cut me out of your life
social networks failing
blocked and deleted
my love for you depleted
I begin my transition into something new
and you are left in my back view
fuck you asshole
fuck you asshole
I don't need your childish ways
I thought I needed you
I was so wrong
you were just a constant nerd
a parasite and I'm the host
my heart is drained from you
like my dick in your mouth
sucking me dry in my car
fuck you too
I don't need you
Fuck you dude
I don't need you
I'm finally letting go
of your broke ass, naive, childish, ass

This state Im in

So for the last couple of weeks Ive been in a nasty mood. Ive been angry and irritable for what I thought no particular reason. People, places, and things were just pissing me off and I noticed that as days went on I was just getting angrier and angrier! What could have caused such a rage in me? Was that dark passenger Ive been keeping caged away slowly seeping its wicked rage out to me? Well luckily I had a therapy session and   we worked out why I was feeling so angry. It was because my little sister was getting married. I wasn't mad that she was getting married, I love her and her now husband very much. It was actually because I love my sister so much that I was angry. It was the change of her becoming someones wife and. and I put it...depending on someone else besides our family. Now shes been out of our house for about 2 years now, and its no secret to me that that's when I went into a deep depression because of that. Its been a tough few years without my little sister home, shes my rock, and when she left I felt like my support system left with her. I felt like she didn't need me anymore and I felt like her taking on her husbands last name set in stone the fact that shes no longer a part of MY family. Of course my therapist slapped me in the face with a reality check and told me that shes not going anywhere or she wont need me anymore...IN FACT, she actually might need me MORE now that shes married. She might need to talk to me to vent about her husband and stuff when the honeymoon stage of their marriage is over...which he told me will happen lol...My therapist told me to talk to my sister about what I was feeling and to hear it from the horses mouth that shes not going anywhere. luckily I was already planning on hanging out with her after my session so it was a good reason to talk to her. We went to Dennys and we just talking gossip and shit when she told me how my session was. I grew some balls instantly and told her how I felt. She laughed and told me that she wasn't going anywhere so I had nothing to worry about. To tell you the truth, it felt like a two ton boulder was lifted off my shoulders. It felt fantastic!

So when the wedding actually happened I was all good! I was happy and I didn't cry once, although I did tear up twice during the ceremony lol. So she got married Saturday, and today is Tuesday and I think a sense of relief as taken over me. I haven't been feeling so irritable and angry. Ill see how the rest of the week goes though. Maybe I just need a good fuck to get all the shitty feelings out of the way lol. 

The Break Through

Modern views

blistering heat subdues

frozen black hearts in you

can you feel the hate break through?

Impacting views

your faces are left black and blue

broken pieces but we have no glue

can you feel the hate break though?

drink up the poison don't leave a drop

split you spine and your brain goes pop

pull the trigger and never pretend to stop

realize the hate is on top

a lost ruin on a deserted land going down

a secret temple that has been found

heros dying, mothers crying for you

can you feel the hate breaking through?

so it appears the dark has won the fight

so it appears the dark has the might

blink of an eye the world is anew

can you see it...the hate...its broken through