The Whore Chronicles Part III

Let me breathe on my own

I need to teach myself how to live again

I need someone to talk to sometimes

But at times everyone is busy

I need to let out some of my angry out

The crack on the surface is beginning to grow

This shit is about to blow

But where are you oh faithful watcher?

Where were you when I began my change?

When I let the darkness into my life

Where were you when I began my change?

When I let everyone stab me with my own knife

I never meant to fall from your good graces

I just needed someone to talk to about myself

You were too busy dealing with yourself

I was abandoned to roam the roads on my own

I need to learn how to breathe

So please let me breathe on my own

The Whore Chronicles part II

If you need me ill be here unconscious

Becoming unglued in front of you

A needy motherfucker with nothing to do

A once hot flame slowly beginning to fade

Not even a moth will come towards me

I’m useless, nothing worth giving a shit for

A dumb ass, a shitty whore

Not worthy of being fed a dick

Not worthy of anything

Nothing will make me feel better

Never even this heroin in my veins

Not even this booze injected in my brain

There’s too much pressure to face every day

I just want to flee this world and run away

I want to stay away

Before the last glimpse of hope begins to decay

Sad kids

My heart plays a sad lullaby
Singing to the kids that are sad inside
Too scared to move too damaged to hide
Not able to take that final ride
Too afraid of the after life
What lies where told of getting better
They knew that it only got worse
Bullied and tortured all their youth
That was the only truth
The only certainly besides death
Scared with each walking breath
Suffocating in their own skin
For what they were
What clothes they wore
Who they loved
How they did their make up
They are cowards they lied
Well these cowards wished they could die
These kids are so sad
So very very sad

The Whore Chronicles

Motherfuckers are geared up for an attack

I don’t face them only give them my back

I’m used to being on my back

Legs up eyes bloodshot

Waiting for my next hit of crack

Gotta get done with this trick

Then go on to my next fix

When I’m high I feel so numb

As these motherfuckers fill me up with cum

My fingernails are pink and bedazzled

My head feels like a baby rattle

As I'm getting it from behind

I think back about the time

When I would fuck just for fun

Before I became this dirty filthy cunt

I was meant to be something more

But I became a feeble whore

Only worthy to be on my back

Just so I can get my crack

Just so I can get high again

To numb down this pain

Wanting everything to end

Muse

so I was going through my old facebook notes, and I was re reading some of my old "poems" and I decided to post some of the ones I liked...that way I dont have to write stuff ...lol...This one is called...MUSE...



I need a beauty in my bed
To get the juices flowing in my head
No not that one 
You sick minded individual
But I still find it kinda hot
When your soul slowly starts to rot
I'm looking for a broken heart
So I can find some spare parts
My own is dead
So I need a beauty in my bed

You are...my most beautiful muse

A new muse I need to use
In return ill let you reuse
My own blood in our love game
Just remind me...what's ur name?
Oh I'm sorry I thought you were someone else
Ill let the juices flow through my head
This time I mean that head
You sick minded person
Hurry up or it might worsen
My volcano is about to erupt
And my body self-destruct
All because of you
My most beautiful muse

Public?

So I'm thinking about taking this blog public and by public I mean telling my Facebook friends about it. I've never been the type to really reveal myself to people. People only know what I want them to know about me. This blog when I actually feel like posting, makes me feel...idk...open to the idea that its ok to open up. I've been opening up little by little lately and maybe by taking this blog public it will motivate me to open up more. Plus I really write better than I talk! I'm a listener, the therapist, the person who people come to to cry on my shoulder, I've never been much of a talker, I'm the strong silent type. So it takes a lot out of me when I talk to people...like my mouth starts to dry up and my jaw hurts type of shit..lol.
Now I'm not a fucking English major, I'm probably going to make some grammar mistakes, and spelling mistakes and most likely murder the English language, truth is...I don't give a FUUUCKKK...and that's on the real...bitch...lol

Now should I do it...or should I just make a brand new blog...I mean truth is..I probably wont blog that much anyways...I just want a place to post my "poetry" or whatever mental garbage comes out of my dark mind...lol

The River

The river ravages my beating heart
the water tearing it apart
but from the start i know it was to be this way
it was bound to happen some day

Flocking to the light with extreme hunger
I crave the warm touch of him
waking up wishing i had enough
but my dick says it needs it rough
tearing that ass up
drinking life from the cup
cold water mixed in with day old beer
i wish he was truly here
not these fuckers i met online

Light as a feather stiff as a board
my life is as flat as a cardboard
deflated and sedated by drugs and drinks
on the edge again slowly to that brink
explosions inside manifest from the shit outside
peoples shit casts me far to the side
astray from friends, I'm worried about him they said
locked up not dead but fucked up in the head
thoughts of leaving this astral plane
thoughts of suicide to cure my pain
I have to suppress them again

I seek nourishment from my decaying brain
thoughts of negativity pour down like acid rain
my life is a shell of what it once was
I don't even know who I once was
what does a person do to survive
what does a motherfucker have to do to stay alive
not stuck in this patted room
secluded from everyone's view
awaiting the darkness that is my doom
soon I hope to leave this prison
venture to the outside but blinded of my vision
peoples bullshit smells like dead memories
people scare me like dead memories
online is where I should be
but this river is determined to carry me
far away from my beating heart