The River

The river ravages my beating heart
the water tearing it apart
but from the start i know it was to be this way
it was bound to happen some day

Flocking to the light with extreme hunger
I crave the warm touch of him
waking up wishing i had enough
but my dick says it needs it rough
tearing that ass up
drinking life from the cup
cold water mixed in with day old beer
i wish he was truly here
not these fuckers i met online

Light as a feather stiff as a board
my life is as flat as a cardboard
deflated and sedated by drugs and drinks
on the edge again slowly to that brink
explosions inside manifest from the shit outside
peoples shit casts me far to the side
astray from friends, I'm worried about him they said
locked up not dead but fucked up in the head
thoughts of leaving this astral plane
thoughts of suicide to cure my pain
I have to suppress them again

I seek nourishment from my decaying brain
thoughts of negativity pour down like acid rain
my life is a shell of what it once was
I don't even know who I once was
what does a person do to survive
what does a motherfucker have to do to stay alive
not stuck in this patted room
secluded from everyone's view
awaiting the darkness that is my doom
soon I hope to leave this prison
venture to the outside but blinded of my vision
peoples bullshit smells like dead memories
people scare me like dead memories
online is where I should be
but this river is determined to carry me
far away from my beating heart