Monday, September 9, 2013

so tired



Im so tired of feeling tired. I just want to feel well again. I just want to be happy and whatever normal was. I hate waking up every morning feeling like my stomach wants to explode. I hate every day that I fucking exist with this damn blog clot and this blood thinner. Im so fucking depressed and anxious everyday. Its starting to become a struggle to get out of bed every morning. I just lay there and wonder whats the fucking point of it all. What is the point of it all? Do I just go to work and come home to rest. I hate that im pushing my friends away from me. Im just in the right state of mind to be around them. In  a way Im trying to save them from what I feel. I know its healthy to do that, in fact I should hang out with them even more so that I could feel good. I just cant, I feel like every time I do hang out with them im just lying to myself and to them. Im there physically, but mentally and emotionally im not. Im just so damn tired of everything. I just want to scream!!! I just want to punch someone, stab something, rip something apart. I really need to find a healthier way of releasing my anger and frustration. 

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