One thing I want to do this year is travel more. I don't need to travel to long distances like Canada or Mexico, I would love to just go somewhere close to me like Vegas or San Diego. Last year was really harsh for me, but this year Ive made it a point to do more to keep myself happy. Traveling or having a mini vacation will help me with this. That's why I'm going to Las Vegas to relax and hang out with my burly bear. In March I'll be going to San Diego to celebrate a friends 30th birthday. I'm looking forward to these two trips, because not only will it get me out of work, but it will also get me out of the house. I sometimes feel trapped at home, so not being there will feel really really fucking good LOL!
In other news, I've realized that I've started binge eating again.More and more Ive noticed that I'm not getting that "full" feeling when I'm eating, and when I do, I still eat more to push my feelings down. I've always known that I've binge eat, but I kicked the habit when I started therapy. I'm learning how to deal with my feelings, so now that I'm binging again, its starting to freak me out. My therapist says that its good that I noticed it and can now focus on it. I think that because I'm feeling somewhat happy this year and have plans to do so much, that the depression part of my brain is making me binge so I can feel bad. I'm self sabotaging myself because I don't want to feel happy. I realize that now and need to learn how to not kill that happiness that Ive worked so hard for.
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