Bright Moon

Under the bright moon on all hallows eve, my pregnant mind would release, unimaginable visions of my dark past. My life has rusted and breaking apart piece by fucking peace. There is no peace of mind in my dark hole you’ll find, me on my hands and knees pleading to be released, unleashed my wrath on the bitter cold world that fucked with a broken boy. There is no joy in life when a dark cloud follows you around; there is no great sound when your feet are cemented to the ground. Hateful journey through summertime sadness, autumn is a time of death and dying, winter is a bitter cold vision of happiness that can not be obtained. My only friend is my shadow and even then, we not talking anymore. I just mailed a letter today to a distant land, maybe now he will take my hand and accompany me through this hurt, instead of pushing my face in the dirt and raping every emotion out of me. I will just lay there and take it, that’s what a good whore does. Darkness surrounds me like a shell surrounds a fragile yolk, I'm such a fucking joke its not even funny, I'm not a comedian I just hide behind this façade, like if I was some sort of God I try to change everything too soon, but I know that if I continue on this past I will be doomed. I think about death everyday under this bright fucking moon…..

Quiet betrayal of love

With frost on her pillow she bids me adieu, revealing to me her body, bloody and bruised, cloaked in a cosmos of wondrous hues, her eyes burn with desires of demons and goblins, my heart she stole like.if she was robin giving.it to the poor, the lonely, the hungry and whores. Goodnight she whispered before she disappeared into the shadows behind the moon

Sneaking alone

Out of sight out of mind
Leave me out to die
I've cried a millions tears
They will never dry
I will always live in fear
My shadow isn't mine

Take me across that golden bridge
Let me cross and jump that ridge
From the start I've been falling apart
Raped of all joy from my heart

Woe is me and love does not exist
Bittersweet melodies I can't resist
Play in the background Damn that noise
Making me cry and break my poise
Shadows underneath my swollen eyes
Crying overnight from the lies
Under cover under bright lights
I want to sneak into the night

Same Shit different toilet..

My depression is the same
Whether I'm high in another plane
Or six down below
This sickness has a name
But it would rather be on the D Lo
Submerged in darkness and despair
It's like breathing toxic air

Stalker

So I have such a low self esteem that I actually wish I had a stalker. Isnt that fucked up lol. My wish kinda came true though. So there's this guy I'm talking to on growlr and he works at tortilla joes I. Downtown Disney and this bitch apparently goes into Dstreet to buy vinyls just so he can see him and hope that I can talk to him...creepy kinda...but sweet and is exactly what I wanted to happen to me someday...too bad he's not cute at all....at least not to me...fml Why do I push potential fucks away....

Doctor

So today I went to the doctor to check my thyroid per my mothers nagging. I went and he said everything was alright....which I'm like fuck...whatever...lol...but then I asked him ...if my anxiety and depression could be affecting my body...he went into an endless babble about Jesus and God and how he can heal me and inject joy into my heart...fucking Aye I wanted antidepressents...not a bible...sigh...now I have to continue living with this dark void inside me...

Lyrical Symphonies...

You speak lyrical symphonies from Your heart

But your notes I want to tear apart

I want your love

I crave your love

Attention has always been a drug to me

So has your pity and sympathy

What have I done to feel this way

Or not to feel this way

I've thought about changing

I've thought about rearranging

Everything inside as well on the outside

Kill the sorrow brought from the past

Put ointment on my scars to heal

So I don't have to remember the pain

But I've done nothing

I want to do everything

The abuse puts me in a blank state of mind

I have you near me to think for me

Speak for me

Sing for me

Sing those lyrical symphonies from the heart

Every fuckkng note I want to tear apart

About my mental liberation